Overheard in the Halls: Part Thirty-Four

Young Student [somewhat nervous]: So, um, what’s *mumble mumble* like?

Laconic Sophomore: Not bad.

Y.S.: Um, but I heard that, well, hard case?

L.S.: Only if you ask for it. [significant pause] You know, like that one class did.

Y.S. [much relieved]: Oooooohhh. Got it!


Sr. Scholastica [Aka the Dean]: So, Slow Senor, Silly Senior, and Skeptical Senior all need to take the final?

Me: Yes. Slow had too many absences, Silly’s GPA is below the threshold, and Skeptical wants to bump her grade if she can.

Sr. Scholastica [over reading glasses]: Skeptical wants to take a final exam, of her own free will, to raise her grade?

Me [hands raised]: Yes, Sister. I believe this is one of the signs of the end times?

Sr. Scholastica: I’ll have to confirm with Fr. Gonzales, but I believe it is.


I am passing through the commons after making copies. Jaundiced Junior looks up from his sprawl in one of the lounge-ish chairs.

J.J.: Miss Red, is it true that Poland once invaded Russia?

Me: Yes, in 1603, during the Time of Troubles. Poland-Lithuania got about a quarter of western Russia.

J.J.: That explains a lot! Thanks, Miss Red.


As seen on the Fridge of Wisdom. Just below it:

Me: Any further questions?

A hand waves frantically from the end of the second row.

Me: Yes? [trying not to sound impatient]

Frosted Freshman [sounding impatient]: Miss Red, if this is from Chapter Three, and that was last semester, why is it on this semester’s test?

Me: Because Confucian culture, filial piety, and the Mandate of Heaven come up every time we discuss China.

F. F. [sulking]: Oh.

The rest of the class glares at Frosted.

Me: Any other questions?

F.F. [looks up from his paper in great haste]: Can we go over number ten again?

Rest of class: Basso profundo growl.

Me: No, I’m sorry, but we need to move on. Please ask one of your classmates for the answer. So, number fifty-two. . .


The last faculty meeting concludes, the fridges have been emptied and exorcised, and all books and grades are accounted for . . .

Catch us if you can!

. . . and the faculty disperse until August first.


11 thoughts on “Overheard in the Halls: Part Thirty-Four

  1. And even with the boost, Skeptical Senior comes up two points short of Salutatorian. An exercise in math and wisdom, NOT appreciated at that age.

    Enjoy your time away.

    • Really? I totally did that, especially for math classes.
      Take a test at the end of the year instead of spending hours of monotony doing homework?
      Ace all your tests and quizzes, blow off a good chunk of the homework, volunteer for the final.
      Boom. Done.

      (Seriously, how can you say “this will be 1/3 off your grade”, and not expect someone to run the numbers?)

      • Not that I was gunning for class placement, mind you. I was definitely not in the top ten of my graduating class. (And had snarky things to say about the girl who never took anything remotely challenging to protect her perfect grade point.)

        • We had one of those the year before I escaped H.S. It led to . . . some interesting developments in administration – student relations, and the complete loss of respect by a number of us for the administration. (We didn’t do anything stupid, but we seethed. A lot.)

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