Me: [Under my breath] Now what? [Louder] Yes, ma’am?
Sister Scholastica [aka The Dean]: Please remind students about social distancing. Jaunty Junior and Silent Sophomore were holding hands as they walked to class.
Miss Verbum: Oh dear. That’s awkward.
Me: [pinching bridge of my nose] Very awkward.
Sr. Scholastica: Oh?
Me: We both had to change our seating charts because Jaunty Junior has been flirting in class with Joyful Junior.
Teaching trio: Unison Groan.
A trio – socially distanced – are working in the commons during a study break.
Sneaky Senior: So, what are you doing your country project over?
Studious Senior: I think France. It still has a lot of influence in parts of Africa, and that puts it in conflict with China. You?
Sneaky: The Soviet Union.
Studious: That’s pretty— Wait! The USSR isn’t anymore.
Sneaky: Yes. So I don’t have to do the part about “current policies and concerns.”
Junior Jerk: [Looking over top of book] Have you checked that with Mrs. Locus?
Sneaky: No. I’ll just turn it in. [leans back in chair] I’m golden!
Studious and Junior exchange glances and disappear behind computer and book respectively.
Me: [inside my head] Mrs. Locus will know in three . . . two . . .
Brother Vector comes into the main workroom.
Br. Vector: The Second Coming is nigh.
Mr. Long-Slavic-Last-Name: Oh?
Br. Vector: Sleepy Sophomore was early today.
Me: That explains the trumpet sound I heard.
Mr. L-S-L-N: How long has it been?
Br. Vector: Since last academic year. I asked Sr. Botanica.
Fr. Martial: And please do not inundate the workroom with Mardi Gras cakes at the end of February.
Mrs. Hankie: Has that been a problem?
Fr. Martial: It was when I was assisting the school chaplain near Ft. Polk.
Faculty snickers, then sober silence.