I’m Not Sayin’ That it’s Dry…

…but people have gotten into bar-fights over which brand of moisturizing eye-drops is best.

… there is a limit in place on how many containers of moisturizer you can get at the drug store per week.

… cats leave glowing footprints when they walk across carpet and make a snapping, crackling, and popping noise.

… sheep-growers have started hanging static-wicks on their animals, just in case.

… the “please” has been dropped from “please pray for rain.”

… “locked and loaded” describes rural fire departments as well as the police and sheriffs.

… people are going to “weepie” movies just to get some moisture into their eyes.

… chopping onions has become popular, and for the same reason.

… the Baptists are sprinkling at baptisms, the Methodists are wiping with a damp washcloth, and the Episcopalians are giving IOUs good for the first time it rains more than a tenth of an inch.

… geese are bringing their own water as they migrate south.

… I saw a catfish and two minnows in line behind some students at the drinking fountain by the gym.

16 thoughts on “I’m Not Sayin’ That it’s Dry…

    • Nope. All the moisture has gone north. We get 55 MPH winds. We’ve had .50″ of moisture since November 1.

      • Greater Cincinnati would be more than happy to share its surplus. For several days my normal route to work had about three feet of water over the bridge.

  1. At timea like this, I am glad I live in an area where there is rarely a danger of fire or dessication…

  2. When mom went down to see the Rio Grande during July:
    “I ain’t sayin’ it was dry, but the fish were kicking up dust when they walked to fill their canteens.”

    (Which she got to deploy again because someone made the mistake of saying that river made a “naturally impassable barrier” along the border.)

    • I always wondered why the term “wetback” came into use as a pejoritave. “Wetfoot” would be more accurate, in most places you would have to lay down and roll around to get your back wet.

      • Because there were places, especially before center pivot irrigation spread south, that you’d have to swim or wade chest-deep water. Still are in some areas.

    • Where he belongs: onstage, backing up the lead guitar.

      Up here in New England we don’t get droughts THAT bad, but it sounds like down your way it’s so dry that when you spit, it evaporates before it hits the ground.

        • <10% humidity isn't uncommon here during a cold snap – the air gets pretty dry at minus 5, then you bring it into the house and warm it up to 60-65, and pretty soon your throat and nasal passages feel like somebody worked 'em over with sandpaper. And then there's the static electricity — anything electronic can be fried with a touch. Not fun at all. But <1% … I wouldn't have believed that was possible either.

  3. It’s been so dry down along the Rio Grande in some years that they had to spray the catfish for ticks.

    And the last time we had a bad dry spell in Bexar County, people reported seeing trees chasing after dogs…

    • Back int he ’50s, it was so bad that the ranchers and Fish-n-Game folks had to teach some of the catfish how to swim, it had been so long since they’d seen water outside a vacation poster or news reel.

  4. Come to think of it, we did have one real bad drought a couple years back. Got so dry, people were wondering if the state had been taken over by temperance workers. All the wineries converted to selling raisins fresh off the vine.

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