Overheard in the Halls: Part 13

Frantic Freshman: I know, we can all duck into the men’s room.

Second Frosh: Yeah, because I know he’s not happy with us.

Fresh-girl: No, no, he’s not.

Miss Red: What did you do to the computer this time?

Fr. Fr.: Nothing, Miss Red. We all flunked the chemistry quiz.

Miss Red: That would be a problem yes.

If you are wondering, I went and advised Mr. Fizz of their plan. Yes, I am mean that way.



Sr. Scholastica and Fr. Romanus were acting as traffic control, making sure that all the high school students went to the assembly instead of study hall or “elsewhere.” Mrs. Verbum and I chivied some reluctant seniors up the hall, with Br. Vector riding drag.

Fr. Romanus [as the last unhappy soul dragged past] They’re being very good today. [thoughtful pause] What would we do if all the students were perfect?

Sr. Scholastica: Panic.

[Sound of faculty laughter and nods of agreement.]


Munch munch munch.

Mr. Long-Slavic-Last-Name: More sauce, sir?

Fr. Pax:  Yes, please.

Munch, munch, munch.

Silence filled the work room, occasionally interrupted by the sound of a chair scraping or a sauce bowl being passed up and down the table. A wonderful, generous, loving, wise, talented set of parents had donated supplies and Mr. Pascal had made… smoked ribs. Magnificent, smokey, perfectly done ribs. Teachers came in, saw the feast, got a plate, ate, and just savored the food. No one spoke, we all concentrated on the meat. I’ve never seen or heard anything like it.


I was in the other workroom, trying to persuade the secondary copier not to have a migraine, when the basketball coach came in.

Coach Reticulated: Your name came up during basketball practice, Miss Red.

Me [blinking]: Oh?

Coach R: Yes. We announced cuts to the team and I told Jr Coach [a freshman] that she’d have to tell the people. She said, “No problem, sir. I can excommunicate them.”

We look at each other and both start laughing.

Coach R: Medieval history or religion class?

Me: Medieval history. Apparently the dispute between Gregory VII and Henry IV stuck.


E-mail from Sr. Hygiene hits my box. The heading is “Don’t Shoot the Messenger”. The main copier was down again.

10 thoughts on “Overheard in the Halls: Part 13

  1. We had a parent who once or twice a year would send a huge spread of home-made goodies for all the high school teachers. The trick was to get into the break room before the male teachers found out. Otherwise locasts had nothing on them

    • The track/cross-country coach once looked at the tables on Teacher Appreciation Day, sighed happily, and said, “It’s a good day when I can’t see the table for the food.” Granted, he was running about 15 miles a day at that time, so he had an excuse.

      There are feed-a-teacher days 3-4 times a year, including the end of semester Christmas and End-o-Year luncheons. And we all bring meat-free salads-n-stuff for Holy Week.

          • My, that’s so much more civilized than my interpretation. Possibly less messy, too. Thinking about it, though I did have a small number of teachers whom could probably have done the education of America’s youth best by serving as kitty snacks, they were thankfully few and far between.

  2. Sounds like an ‘interesting’ place to work… And copiers DO sense the urgency and die just to spite one… sigh

    • That’s pretty much all machinery. And even people who can’t supposedly detect the issue. When you have less than NO time? That’s when the chronovores try to have a feeding frenzy.

    • They really were. And Mr. Pascal flat out refused to say what he did to them, what wood he used, what rub or marinade… absolute silence. Tender, so tender, no char, flavor all the way through… We were very happy faculty.

Comments are closed.