Overheard in the Halls: Part 11

Fr. Pax: Where is Brother Vector?

Mrs. Omnisapientia [secretary]: Out walking the dog, Father.

Fr. Pax [blinking]: Is that a new urban euphemism?

Mrs. Omnia: No, Father. His brother and sister took their parents to the art festival, and Br. Vector is taking care of the dog while everyone is out-of-town.

Fr. Pax: Ah. Clarity returns. Thank you.


A distinctively stout smell filled the connecting hallway one morning. It wasn’t “disaster in chem lab” smell or “who killed the microwave?” but it was not the usual. As I went to and from the workroom, I observed that it grew stronger near the art room. Mystery solved.

Mrs. Botanica: Do you smell something…odd?

Miss Red: The advanced art classes are doing encaustic, with hot wax.

Mrs. Botanica; [glances at April calendar] That’s right. They do that spring semester. Thank you.


Studious Senior: [glances up as freshman saunters past, grinning] You look awful happy for a Monday.

Frisky Frosh: We bumped off Stalin today in class.

Second Senior: That’s a good reason to be cheerful.


Exited voices erupt from the Study Alley.

Female voice: It wasn’t supposed to do that!

Sr. Scholastica and I arrive at the same time from different directions.

Sr. Scholastica [aka The Dean]: What happened?

Jouncing Junior: It was just a bottle of eye drops! I didn’t think they’d hit the ceiling.

The Dean made a little shooing motion and I departed.


Junior Boy: No, it says total length, not just length of the barrel. You can cut the barrel down to [length] and the stock as well, and make it illegal.

Sophomore Dude: Oh, or is it, [sound of electronic page turns] Here. This state law says barrel only. So you can have a state felony but not federal, or be state legal but a federal felon! Cool

Miss Red: [against her better judgment] Dare I ask what you are doing, gentlemen?

Junior Boy: Good morning, Miss Red! We’re doing research for Mr. Lex’s government class. The book says that some things are legal at the state level but are federal offenses, and we needed to find an example other than pot.

Junior Gal: There are some really funky sawed-off guns on the ‘net, Miss Red.

Miss Red: I’m sure there are. And they will kick like a rented mule if you try to fire them, assuming your gunsmith didn’t bork the firearm and it doesn’t explode in your hand.

Sophomore Dude: That would be a bad thing.

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18 thoughts on “Overheard in the Halls: Part 11

  1. Reminds me of too many decades ago…

    Small pop, brief flash of flame in the back of the chemistry lab, accompanied by a very non-school-approved exclamatory word:

    Mrs. ChemTeach (25 years on the job, sighs, contemplates, dials in judicious amount of retro-deafness): “Roger, what’s going on back there?”

    Bright, witty, but not necessarily wise Roger: “I’m trying to create life!”

    Mrs. ChemTeach: “Please save it for Mrs. B’s biology class and clean up that mess.”

    • I wonder what would happen if they combined the sawed off shotgun with the chemistry experiment trying to create life? I’m sure it would be loud and messy, whatever else it was…

      • A G-nome is involved, I’m sure. Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from puns. 🙂


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