I should have known things were going too well…
So there I was, trying to be a good teacher and get all my copies done before Monday at 0745, or before “I have to have 60 copies on custom paper stapled on the right corner in three minutes!” I fanned the pages so they would not stick together, I selected the proper parameters, staple, collate, number of copies, and hit “Start.” Then I stepped back, checked my in-box, refilled the water in the little coffee maker, and sipped my soda pop.
The copier chirped, and I retrieved the pages. They were not stapled together. The middle page was missing.
Huh. I looked at the command screen on the copier, looked at the copies, and heard the machine giggling.
I’d forgotten that I needed to select two-side to two-side, not one-side to two-side, as I usually do. And I have no idea why it refused to staple.
Just to rub the folly in, the copier wrinkled half the middle pages that it copied, and I had to hand staple everything. And re-load the stapler.
So That’s what that Sound Was!
Cat Rotator's Quarterly 
Clearly, you’re nutritionally imbalanced. You need a staple diet.
đŸ˜‰
Nah, too much iron that way.
Oh, the irony.
Does your copier use these new staple-less “staples”? They are a whole new level of evil.
No both SuperCopier and its older, smaller sibling exiled to the high school wing use real metal staples. Thus the occasional mass “all staff” e-mail “Who’s seen the staple puller?!?”
I remove staples with one of my many knives, but I don’t work in a school that likely BANS knives and other pointy things.
We have a don’t ask, don’t see, don’t tell policy.
When they outlaw high capacity staplers, only outlaws will have them.
In my experience, the staple function worked as off – random.
That’s the hole punch. A hole-punch malfunction managed to take the entire copier down for two days once.
Well, it’s a church school, isn’t it? Holiness in action!
“Holey, Holey, Holey,
Paper guide malfunction!
Chads and bits cascading down
Into the carpet, see …”
About right, or does it call for another verse?
Maybe I should stop now, before it takes on a bad toner.
Ouch.
*Is so glad her soup needs to cool, so I can indulge in giggles*
Yep, it’s MONDAY… With a vengeance!
Ever have one of those weeks that feels like a week of Mondays?
Shhhhh. Don’t type that so loud. Monday might hear you.
I could go for a week of Saturdays, right now.
It’s been Monday for years. The day of the week has nothing to do with it.
As a supervisor some of my most “joyous” memories are of sorting out disputes over the copier: who should have refilled it with paper, who gets to use the one the works the best — or at all — whose stuff gets copied first, who left classified material on the copier…ad nauseum.
I generally keep it fed with paper first thing in the AM, and I check again at noon. Toner et al are for the experts. Priority is not as much of a problem thus far, and no students are permitted in the work-room, so classified materials in the wrong hands are not as much of a concern. đŸ™‚
Are these disputes more or less intense than arguments about the coffee machine?
We always had far more coffee pots than copy machines.
One day I came out of a meeting whereupon I was accosted by a lieutenant with a very serious expression who said “Major, we need to talk.” Nobody prefaces good news with that kind of intro. Turns out my civil service secretary and a civil service engineer got in a screaming match over using the copier. She dropped a bunch of stuff in the feeder, hit “COPY” and went back to her desk. He came by, knew the feeder mechanism was not working, she wasn’t there, so he set her stuff aside and started copying his papers. She came back and “caught” him.
Harsh words, threats, possibly racial invectives were exchanged. Sabotaged the whole afternoon. đŸ˜¦