Miss Red: So, what happens if someone were to put a package of Thin-Stuff Mint Oreos™ in the workroom with a sign saying “thin mints” on it?
Sr. Botanica: Whatever the consequences, they would be justified in both secular and canon law.
Miss Red: Hmmmm….
The students just tackled a new, and very difficult, type of writing. With predictable results.
Miss Red: Any questions?
Concerned Student: Is it too late to drop out?
Miss Red: Yes, but Oscar Meyer announced that they are taking applications for drivers for the Weinermobile.
Farm Kid: And you can get a hardship license in Texas at age 15!
Smart-something Student [holding up paper]: This is a hardship.
Miss Red: [Turns to erase board and has coughing spell to cover laughter]
A group of faculty and staff are staring at something on a table in the workroom as I go to make copies.
Mr. Long-Slavic-Last Name: Sugar-free baklava?
Murmurs of concern and dismay. No one is touching the plate.
Mr. Leaper [assistant track coach]: What’s up? Oooh! Baklava, may I?
The faculty circle parts, he takes two pieces and hurries off to catch up with the 6th graders.
Mr. L-S-L-N: If he’s still with us in an hour, it’s safe.
(I left before anyone else ventured to try the pastry, but three hours later, the plate was empty.)
Furtive Freshman Girl: OK, here it is. [Holds up brown paper bag]
Secretive Staff Member: Good. [Hands freshman a twenty, takes bag]
Later on I catch the freshman.
Miss Red: Question?
Furtive Freshman: [Gulps] Yess, Miss Red.
Miss Red: Smores, Caramel D’lites, or [lowers voice] Thin Mints?
Furtive Freshmen [equally quiet] Thin Mints and caramel.
Irked Junior: Hey, that’s terrible!
Fr. Romanus [passing by in passing period]: Homework problem? Scheduling disaster?
I. J.: No, sir. Lent starts on Valentine’s Day! Who schedules the Liturgical Calendar, anyway? I want to complain.
Students and faculty: [A burst of guffaws, chuckles, and sighs of commiseration]
Fr. Romanus [pointing to collar]: Complain to my boss.