Intruder, Nine O’clock High!

Clickita clickita clickita Ye Author types away, working on something.

Motion where none should be catches her eye, dark against the smooth white firmament of the ceiling.

Clickita clickita clickita If she ignores it, it will go away.

It does not.

Clickita clickita clickita the dark shape scuttles closer, still overhead, approaching with all deliberate speed. It is…

a spider. A good-sized spider, not an enormous hairy specimen but still large.

Ye Author stands up, moving out from under the approach path. Spider advances. Author retreats. Spider advances until it is directly above the Chair of Writing.

Dang. Steps must be taken.

The Sneaker of Doom will not reach the spider.


Ye Author spies an unoccupied soft blue pet bed in the corner of the office. Ah-ha! Knock spider off ceiling, apply Sneaker of Doom, resume work.

Ye Author grabs her selected weapon, maneuvers into position, and with a mighty swipe of the pet-bed, flings the spider down from its lofty perch…

right into the book-case, where it promptly vanishes into the stacks and rows of tomes, thus precluding use of flamethrower.


I hate indoor spiders.

(Why not just spray it? Because I have become sensitized to the perfumes in bug-spray after a major over-exposure, and I would have to air out the office for several hours.)


10 thoughts on “Intruder, Nine O’clock High!

    • No, I was not aware of that. I tend to group spiders inside the house into 1) teeny-tiny and harmless, 2)very small and harmless, 3) medium sized and irritating, and 4) oh-crap-kill-it-killitkillit!

      Outdoor spiders are cool and I try to leave them alone. Several feet alone at a minimum. 🙂

      • Where I live, we leave the tiny ones alone, smash the mid-sized ones, and generally relocate the big ones outside. We have black widows, brown recluses, and other poisonous ones in the mid-size range, and since I’m color-blind and find it difficult to keep them apart, the harmless ones get caught in the overkill.

    • Not sure if it was the same spider or not, but I was moving some of my church history books and discovered a (the?) spider when I set the books down in the kitchen. WHAP!

      Junior College ContinuingEd catalogue 1: spider 0.

  1. I had an interesting incident over the weekend. I’ve been renovating an ancient Airstream trailer, and at long last, I pulled out the very last sheet of old plywood subfloor. Revealed below was the gaping hole to the outside that’ll need repairing – and the giant spider who’d been hanging out on the underside of the plywood. He was still hanging on to the plywood as the underside went vertical. I might have tried to do something about him, except my arms were rather occupied holding onto the plywood! There wasn’t much I could do – there was no good place to put it down now that I’d broken it free – so I ended up very carefully walking it out through the door. The plywood, the spider, and I slowly slid out the door, around the trailer. I was eyeing the arachnid warily the whole time. Finally I was able to toss the plywood down atop the other old subfloor, and bid the spider farewell.

    • I’d have been praying to my personal deity and any others who might have been within ear-shot to keep that spider from moving until I was out the door. Then I would have put down the plywood, stepped well clear, and had a serious attack of the heebie-geebies.

  2. I’m not a bunny/treehugger by any means, but I would have never given a thought to spraying it. Not even sure if I was even conciously aware they made spray designed to kill bugs indoors. The only spray I have used on bugs was bee spray to get the nests under the soffits on my two story house… Okay, I did use hair spray and a lighter on some as a kid (and spray paint and a lighter on an underground bees nest beside a monument once when surveying) but I don’t think that really counts.

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