Overheard in the Halls: Part Six

Angry Student: Why is it doing that?

Mr. Long-Slavic-Last Name: Because it hates you.

A.S.: Mutter mutter, snarl.

Mr. L-S-L-N: What are you doing in the workroom, pray tell?  [Students are verboten in the workrooms without an adult present. Their adult]

A.S.: Trying to make a copy for Fr. Martinez.

Mr. L-S-L-N: There’s the problem. It knows you are a student and it rejects your imposition on its nap.

A.S. [deflated]: Oh.

The problem with the student’s effort was that A.S. did not have the pass code for the teacher in order to make a copy, and should have gone to She-Who-Knows-All, the school secretary, to have a copy made. Thus the printer’s refusal to function. You can’t skip any steps when dealing with the Printing Gods.


Cannoneer 1: Mrs. Verbum doesn’t let us have any fun.

Miss Red: Oh?

Cannoneer 1: We weren’t allowed to use 6th graders as catapult ammunition.

Miss Red: [struggling to keep a properly stern and serious expression] I see.

Cannoneer 2: And we weren’t allowed to shoot anything at the sixth-graders, either.

Miss Red: That would be disappointing.

Given the size of the “table-top” catapult, I can see why Responsible Adults intervened.


Group of Huddled Students: Mutter, mutter, whisper, mumble. [Furtive glances up and down hallway]

Miss Red: Is this a plot or a cabal? Because if it’s a cabal, I want in.

Furtive Student #1: It’s a plot, Miss Red.

Miss Red: Oh?

Too-Chipper-Young-lady: We’re overthrowing the bourgeoise and leading the vanguard of the proletariat!

Miss Red: [to self] Fr. Martinez must be teaching about liberation theology again. It’s that time of the semester. [Aloud] Very good, then. Carry on.

G-o-H-S: Yes, ma’am!


Disgruntled Senior: Hey, that’s not fair! [points out front door]

Mrs. Omnisapientia [former school secretary, filling in for the day] Oh?

D.S.: Just because we took the teachers’ parking places is no reason to lock us in.

Fr. Pax [Aka the Headmaster, as he and Sr. Scholastica and several other administrators and department heads emerge from meeting]: I’m certain there are a much larger number of reasons for locking you in than merely taking up all the faculty parking.

D.S.: [mumbling] Maybe.


4 thoughts on “Overheard in the Halls: Part Six

  1. There’s an interesting progression here.

    1. Headmaster lays down the law.
    2. The law is an ass.
    3. An onager is a type of ass.
    4. It’s also a Roman siege engine.
    5. A table-top catapult! Eureka!


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