Mrs. Heiden: The world religion classes will be in the gym tomorrow. We’re doing tai chi.
Sr. Scholastica (aka The Dean): Thus the dress code change request. Understood. [makes notes] Will you be leading it?
Mrs. Heiden: No, Mrs. Chi from the college continuing ed program will. But I know how. [takes a tai chi pose] If anyone ever tries to mug me in slow motion, I’m ready.
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Sr. Perpetua (calculus teacher): With the exception of Thursday, which is mass day, the entire high school will be absent in three weeks.
Fr. Pax (Headmaster): Good heavens! [looks at schedule board] That is most infortuitous timing.
Miss Red: I take it this is absent physically as well as mentally?
[Sound of laughter from all in boardroom]
Sr. Perpetua: [not smiling] Yes.
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Sr. Scholastica: So, who are you today?
Miss Red: [checking desk calendar] Me, Miss Scales, and Mr. Long-Slavic-Last-Name. I’m you on Friday.
Sr. Scholastica: [checking pocket calendar] Hmmm. I thought you were Fr. Romanus on Friday. Very well.
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Frantic Student: [charging pell mell out the front door as rain begins to pound down] Oh nooooooo!!!!!
Miss Red: [turning to group of slower moving scholars] Is there a problem or was that an escape attempt?
Snickering Student: Problem, Ma’am. He drove his dad’s car today.
Miss Red: And he neglected to inform his father?
Snickering Student: Yes, ma’am. And he left the top down!
Voice from Back of Group: Car karma strikes again.
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Mrs. Floribunda (biology teacher): [talking to the box that the UPS driver has just handed her] You’d better not be dead this time, or I’ll kill you.
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Cat Rotator's Quarterly 
Way too many puns there… 🙂
At least they are easy to remember, from the author’s point of view.
Is that even possible?
Piers Anthony proved that yes, you could be too cute.
Excellent point. So difficult, but not impossible.