Scene: An older neighborhood in the Texas Panhandle

Time: Some where between mid-autumn and spring.

Characters: Mr. Bauer, the homeowner; your not-so-humble scribe; a cossetted, pampered, and otherwise very well cared-for oak tree.

Alma: Hi!

Mr. Bauer pauses while clearing out the gutter by the sidewalk: Hi! Good afternoon for a walk.

Plink plink.

Alma: Yes, sir, it is. How are things?

plink, plinka-plink

Mr. B: Can’t complain. Everyone’s healthy and the plumber’s bill was less than I figured.*

Alma: That’s always good.

Plinkita plinkity plink, bounce bounce bounce

Mr B: Yep. How’s your folks? They been out of town?

Plink bounce rollrollroooooolllllll

Alma: They’re fine. Mom’s had a little eye trouble but otherwise fine. Yes, they spent September on vacation.

Mr. B: And left you behind?

Alma: Someone has to work for a living.


Plink boink boink plink plink rolll. Sound of angry squirrel and cussin’ blue-jay.

Alma: Have a good evening. Don’t work too hard.

Mr. B: I won’t. I just wanted to get these out of the gutter in case it rains again this year.

As we were talking, acorns were raining down on our heads. Mr. B was wearing his old highway department hard hat, and I could feel the thumps on my hat. It was a good acorn year indeed.

*Plumbers stop in the neighborhood daily. The pipes are 40-60 years old, with orangeburg paper connecting the houses to the main sewer lines  unless they have been updated. And some of the cast iron is also going.


2 thoughts on “Nuts?!?

  1. I speak from experience when I say those types of pipes are magnets for tree roots.

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