Overheard in the Halls

Sr. Scholastica {aka The Dean], peering out the front doors at a group of running students: Is the Sixth Grade escaping?

Mrs. O’Neal [aka The All Seeing Wise-One {school secretary}]: No, Fr. Ramirez is taking them to go do a good work.

The Dean: Same thing.


Fr. Romanus, holding a can of sugar-cookie flavored potato chips: These really do taste like sugar cookies.

Miss Red: I know. Should I be impressed, or worried?

Fr. Romanus: munch munch munch


I was filling in for the orchestra teacher for a few minutes. The woodwind instructor came by.

Mrs. Whistler: Could you look in the drawer and see if Mrs. Strings has a stapler?

Rummage around, find a short stick with a large fuzzy thing on the end.

Miss Red: No, but there’s a fuzzy drumstick.

Mrs. Whistler: That’s for the bass drum we don’t have yet. We need to get a tambourine first. Thanks for looking.


Concerned Student: Miss Red, is this Henry IV of England, of Germany, or of France?

Miss Red: France.

Voice from the Back of the Room: Ma’am, did they reuse names back then just to make it confusing for us today?

Miss Red: Yes. It was a conspiracy and they were out to get you.

VftBotR: Oh good, I thought so.


Mr. Long-Slavic-Last-Name (filling in for a High School teacher because of an emergency):  . . . And if you’d told me ten years ago that I’d be teaching in a private school, I’d have said you were crazy.

Student: So why are you here, sir?

Mr. L-S-L-N [deadpan]: Because I hate kids.

Mrs. Factorial (Math teacher) to Miss Red: Don’t we all, some days.


Edgy female student: I can’t believe he really did it.

Amazed male student: Me either. I thought he’d just hack the Pentagon or something traditional.

[And no, I had no idea what they were talking about and I didn’t ask. Need to know and all that.]


Miss Scales [addressing faculty choir]:  . . . and then we’ll go to the chapel atrium and sing there to get used to the sound.

Miss Red: Can we lock the doors first?

Miss Scales: But then the students can’t come in.

Fr. Pax [the Headmaster]: I believe that is what Miss Red intends.

Miss Red: [bows toward headmaster as other teachers chuckle]




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