Random Life

I was hunting through the drawers in the bathroom I share with Athena T. Cat. You see, I recently got a new hairbrush because Olde Faithful had started shedding bristles after a decade or so. I ended up with two, because the handle on my back-up brush broke. Some days are like that.

Anyway, much hunting produces no fancy brush. So I went and found Mom.

Me: “Ah, Mom, question.”

Mom: [Looking up from sewing machine] “Yes?”

Me: “Have you seen my hairbrush? Black, roundish, palm-sized?”

Mom: “Second drawer under the spare blankets.”

Me: “That’s the cat’s drawer.”  We keep her medicines, brushes, spare collars, et al there.

Mom: “She really likes the new brush. The little knobs get deep into her fur without scratching, so I’ve been using it.”

Me: “OK, thanks.”   [Silently] Whimper, whimper, whimper.

I'm cuter so I get the cute brush. Problem?

I’m cuter so I get the cute brush. Problem?

 

Overheard in the Lunch Room last week (Note: there’s no campaigning for the position being discussed):

Guy 1: “So, who do you think will be Mr. St. Angus?”

Guy 2: “Not me. No one would vote for me.”  [Not really true, but the odds are on a senior]

Guy 1: “Why not?”

Dude: “You didn’t spend enough on your campaign.”

Guy 2: “Oh yeah. Two pennies and some pocket fuzz and a cough drop don’t go far.”

Dude 2: [leans forward, very serious, having finished his mouthful] “It was buying the vegan pizza for everyone. That tofu mozzarella cost you a lot of votes.”

Table roars with laughter. Chorus of “ick!” “That sounds horrible!” “Man, the cheese is what makes it edible.”

Guy 2: [makes a horrible face] “That sounds worse than pineapple on pizza!”

 

From last semester:

Miss Red: ” . . . and by this point in the Dynasty, many functions of Chinese court and government had been taken over by eunuchs.”

Voice from the Back of the Room: “Linux runs better.”

Class roars with laughter.

Miss Red: [Trying to keep a straight face] “Ubuntu stop right here. Or else you’re going out in the hall to talk with a penguin.”

Sidekick from Back of the Room: “Toss him out the window.”

Miss Red: [after laughter dies] “Right. Going back to the late Ming Dynasty . . .”

Thus far I’ve been able to win all the pun wars, but sometimes it’s been a challenge.

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